***
Jim Grime was born and raised in Freeport, the
jewel of the tri-island area. He received his early education at the
prestigious Freeport School before moving on to the newly-opened Islands
Consolidated for his high school years. Grime was always ruggedly handsome in
that devil-may-care way that had the girlies all aglow. His natural shyness and
modesty were the only things that kept him from being the kind of teen idol
that you see on the covers of magazines.
The son of a successful grocery magnate, Grime’s
good looks and winning personality were matched only by his keen intellect and
perfect physique. His jet black curly hair provided the perfect accessory to
his sublime face. Upon graduating from ICS, Grime was voted “Most Likely to do
Something Pretty Good.”
Grime had known Gurrey Ben since they first joined
the Cub Scouts. Because Freeport was and is the social centre of the region,
the Cub meetings were held there, every Thursday night. Due to the severe
isolation and pitiable lack of reliable overnight transport across the
metaphoric River Styxx that is Grand Passage, Ben’s father, also a noted
grocery magnate, albeit of the smaller, less favored isle, arranged to have his
son stay with the Grimes on Cub night. It was here that Ben learned the
rudimentary lessons of life: how to use and hold utensils, basic hygiene, and
so on.
***
Despite growing up with
the distinct disadvantage of having to look across the harbour every day at the
demoralizing scene presented by the village of Freeport, “Gurrey Ben” Robichini
nonetheless was able to overcome this unfortunate handicap and go on to have the
type of idyllic childhood that only growing up on the “Eden of the Fundy” known
as Brier Island could make possible.
In his early teens, cruel
fate struck Robichini a staggering blow when unfortunate circumstances dictated
that he spend one night a week staying over on Long Island. Fortunately, this
sow’s ear quickly turned into a silk purse when he found himself billeted at
the home of Jim Grime, a young man whose interests, sense of humour, and huge comic
book collection indicated a certain like-mindedness and compatibility.
Although the two friends
had a strong tendency to deride each other’s home village and island, they were
able to keep the insults in check for the most part by coming together for the common
purpose of directing their witty put-downs toward the village of Central Grove.
The friendship endured
and after several years the two young men joined forces to bring a new form of
music to the islands. Their duo, D. J. Jazzy Jim and Gurrey Ben, may be
best remembered for their rap recording The Ferry Slip Shuffle Fo’ Shizzle, which
got brief but heavy rotation on several C.B. radios in the Tri-Island area.
Unfortunately their fame was short-lived. It turned out that their timing was
off, both figuratively and literally; it was the peak of the glitter-rock era
and no one knew what to make of the baggy-pantsed pair with their indecipherable
rhymes.
The duo’s first public performance
was also their last. Appearing before a group of senior citizens at Tideview
Terrace, they were quickly driven from the stage amid a pelting hail of pudding
cups and half-filled colostomy bags.
Dejected by this
artistic failure, Robichini, who just the day before, in a fit of unwarranted
optimism about his future as a rap star, had officially changed his name to
Gurrey Ben, decided to leave his beloved island and travel the world in an
effort to “find himself”. After venturing as far afield as Southern Ontario and
spending more than a decade exploring the exotic realms of the Niagara Region,
Gurrey, as he was now legally named, did indeed find himself; he found himself
back home on the Islands and in business with his old friend and former rapping
partner, Grime.
Amazingly, Both Gurrey
and Grime had independently reached the same conclusion; that they would only
find true happiness living in the place they loved and doing the things they
had a natural affinity for, gutting fish and being dicks.
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